


Five Years

by SpicyPepper_SweetSugar



Series: Five [1]
Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, I don't know where this is going but it's going, It is probably going to end romantically though, Kate is not okay, Post-Amaru (From Dusk Till Dawn), Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 03, Psychological Trauma, SethKate - Freeform, Slow Burn, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, a lot of unresolved things, or at least it will be hopeful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:45:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar/pseuds/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar
Summary: Five years have passed since Kate decided to leave the Gecko brothers. After being possessed by the Queen of Hell, she never fully felt like herself and needed time away from everyone and everything. Then, one night, she is forced to come to terms with what she is running from and face the hard truths that she's tried to deny for so long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! :) This is my first time writing for From Dusk Till Dawn so I'm sorry if I completely mess this up. I binge-watched all three seasons and fell in love with Sethkate, so I couldn't keep myself from writing something for them. This story will have five chapters in total, all of which take place during the same night. There is a possibility that I can expand it and write another part, but we'll see, depending on how this one is received.
> 
> In this universe, Kate leaves the Geckos instead of becoming their partner in crime, mostly because she isn't completely "right" after Amaru. The first three chapters have already been written, but I want to see what you guys think before I continue to write. I'll hopefully update again this weekend. Oh, and also, I have a +20k word AU story finished which I'm proof-reading. My Tumblr is "author123456", so if you have questions, feel free to message me there too.
> 
> I was hoping to keep this note short, but oh well. I really hope you enjoy this first chapter, which is kind of just an introduction. Be kind and enjoy! :) xx

# Chapter 1

There was a second.

A second when she wondered to herself whether she had officially broken and started seeing things. Then again, over the past couple of years, ‘ _seeing things’_ had become a constant for her. Ever since she was freed from Amaru’s grip on her body; ever since she gone to hell and come back, and then made the decision to _leave._

It hadn’t been a difficult choice for her to make. She had spent some time with the Gecko brothers, but even to this day, she wasn’t sure just how long. Time had passed slowly, but she did know that she had been pretty much locked up in an old motel room for a week, recovering. She had tried to do something with herself, but nothing felt right to her and she had had enough. She had told the brothers as much. That she was craving to get out and away, mainly because she had to try and find herself again; to find where she fit in this world that was so different now.

They had both seemed understanding, but Kate knew, deep down, that her finally separating herself from them had caused them both pain. Seth more than Richie…

_Maybe._

They had been the ones to drive her back to Texas, dropping her off at the outskirts of her old home town and she had made it back to her house and then tried to get back to her old life. It had been hard without her parents and without Scott, but her brother came to visit every once in a while. Once she managed to enroll in college after finally finishing up high school, Scott stopped visiting. Instead, he texted her every now and then just to tell her that he was still alive and that he was happy. It was enough for her and whenever he asked her how she was doing, she would tell him that she was doing well, knowing that he didn’t actually believe her. Moving away from Bethel had been necessary for her. She tried to start over because she needed a change and she had to do it for herself more than anyone else.

And then the nightmares had started.

Nightmares and horrid memories of everything that had happened when she hadn’t been in control of her own body. Terrors of what could have happened to her, if she had been just a little bit weaker. At first, she had thought she could handle it, but waking up screaming almost every night in the small apartment she had rented was what finally made her call up Freddie. She asked him for help and he provided the best he could, offering her moral support more than anything else. In her free time, between courses, she enrolled in self-defense classes, knowing that it wouldn’t actually help if another demon tried to make it into her body, but she had to at least do _something_ to keep her mind busy _._ So she read and trained and finished courses in religion, mythology and the occult. She made a friend or two in college who shared her interests, but no one ever really understood her obsession with learning about worlds that in their mind, didn’t exist.

The worlds that still existed inside of her head; the voices that still woke her on the nights that were too long.

There had even been times when she had given dating a chance, all so that she could try and get some normalcy back, but it never worked out. Soon enough, they all found out just how crazy she was when she woke up screaming in bed, yelling at the demon inside of her to just _release_ her. The people she had made friends with and the few guys she had dated didn’t know what she had been through; they didn’t know what she had seen. Soon, she realized that they would never understand what was out there, what was still inside of her mind, and there was no way for her to ever forget, or get it out of herself.

She never told Freddie about it though, because she didn’t want him to worry. He checked up on her with regular phone calls and a part of her always wondered if maybe the Geckos had something to do with that. It wasn’t a thought she entertained much. Thinking about Seth and Richie and what they were up to pained her. Nevertheless, she still managed to hide what she had become from the ranger. He knew nothing of her extracurricular activities and what she had been doing since graduating college.

So yes, there was a second when she wondered to herself whether she was once again seeing things, because five years had passed since she’s seen either of the people who turned her life upside-down, and yet, her eyes settled on Seth and Richie Gecko who were being surrounded by at least _fifteen_ rogue culebras on the roof of the building that she had been staking out for over a week.

She had gotten a tip about people mysteriously disappearing in and around Chappell Hill and it had corresponded to everything she previously knew about culebra-related disappearances. Her suspicions had led her to believe that there might be a nest somewhere in town and every cell in her body screamed at her to keep an eye on the small factory in town, which was coincidentally a sausage factory. A whole week she had researched and kept an eye on things, always observing from the other buildings in the area, keeping her distance as she took note of everything that entered the factory and what came out of it.

It was now, on the seventh night that shit hit the fan and she heard gunshots and a small explosion which caused her whole body to tense. Through her sniper-scope she saw two men run out of the building and into the alleyway below. Her breath hitched when she recognized the suits they wore. There was no way; No. _Fucking_. Way.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she watched them get surrounded and she took another look through the scope, focusing on their faces. It _was_ them.

She wasn’t sure what she should do but she reacted on instinct when one of the culebras took a step toward Seth. The recoil was something she was used to by now and it didn’t faze her when she took the shot, nailing the creature in the heart, despite the distance.

 _Practice makes perfect,_ after all.

She didn’t let herself take in the confusion on Seth and Richie’s faces, nor the way the culebras looked around, not having a clue about what was happening as she took out another one. It screeched as it burned, the sound traveling far and she knew that whatever it was that was happening would eventually lead to more culebras showing up. Seth and Richie spun into action though, fighting back against the monsters who attacked them and from a distance, Kate helped, firing shot after shot. Once Richie took out the last one, Kate stood, throwing her rifle over her shoulder as she picked up the crossbow and the duffel bag she always carried with her. The stakes and weapons inside rattled as she held it tightly before hurriedly making her way down the emergency stairs on the side of the building, jumping down the last couple of steps as she took off in a sprint toward the brothers. They raised their guns at her when she approached them, although she noticed the moment their suspicion turned into recognition and then moved on to shock.

“Where’s your car?” she asked, not even bothering to take a moment to catch her breath. The yelling from the factory seemed to put the brothers in motion though, because they held their own weapons as they led the way.

Something unspoken passed between the brothers when Seth threw himself into the driver’s seat and Richie made his way into the back. Kate hesitated for only a split second, remembering her own truck that was parked a few streets away. She knew that she didn’t have any valuables in there though, so she didn’t mourn it for very long when she got into the car, throwing her weapons in before finally settling in the seat herself. She barely had the time to close the door as Seth sped away from there.

Away from danger and into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate remembers the moment she knew that she had to be on her own. The silence in the car is unbearable, but she isn't ready to talk to either of the brothers just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful comments I got on the first chapter! I'm so glad that you guys are giving this short, weird little story a shot. I decided to post the second chapter a bit sooner than planned, but the third one will probably not be out until late Saturday (since I have an exam in E-marketing that day. Who the fuck plans exams on Saturdays??? My professor. That's who.).
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy this one! By the way, flashbacks are written in italics, but I do think that's pretty obvious... Comment and share your thoughts too if you feel like it. It's always appreciated. Lots of love! xx
> 
> (P.S. The third chapter will be from Seth's point of view... Also, I really, really need a fourth season of FDTD to be confirmed, like, yesterday. Fingers crossed you guys!)

# Chapter 2

Richie was fast asleep in the backseat and Seth had been driving for hours, but he hadn’t said a single word to Kate. She could feel his eyes flicker over to her every twenty seconds, though she couldn’t bring herself to snap at him to just focus on the road ahead of them. She couldn’t really be certain that Richie _was_ sleeping, but she hadn’t exactly been planning on speaking to him either at the moment. In fact, she was still in too much shock at having been reunited with them once more after five years of no contact. She hated that she couldn’t seem to grasp the fact that they were actually in the car with her. Feeling Seth’s gaze on her again, Kate swallowed thickly and kept her eyes on the road. Even though she didn’t know if Richie was asleep or if he was just pretending to be, she wasn’t going to have any type of conversation with Seth before she had made sure that the two of them were alone.

If she was ever going to have a conversation with him at all, that is.

Kate clutched her crossbow to her chest, the duffel bag filled with weapons at her feet, stakes rattling every once in a while when Seth made a turn. Her sniper rifle was leaned against the door, just sitting there and she was certain that Seth would have questions about that too. She closed her eyes, clenching her jaw as she reached up and pressed her fingers against her forehead. Her head was hurting and she could have sworn that she could hear whispers inside her mind as memories started forcing their way through.

‘ _I have to go. I have to go._ ’

She brushed back some of her hair which had fallen out of her braid when she had descended the stairs back in Chappell Hill before she had run to Seth and Richie. Her stomach felt heavy and her chest tightened for just a moment as she pressed her palm flat against the window, feeling the cold glass before palming her forehead again. She blinked a couple of times and looked herself in the side-mirror, focusing on a point somewhere in her head. At least this time it was her own voice she was hearing, and not the agonizing screams of all the innocents that Amaru had used her body to kill.

***

 _Her eyes followed the ceiling fan as it rotated slowly, the sound of its blades cutting through the stifling air in the motel room. She didn’t know for sure how many days had passed since she had been freed, but she knew that something inside of her wasn’t right. Her skin didn’t feel like her own, no matter how many times she showered. Her own voice sounded foreign to her, lower somehow, like it had been when_ She _had been speaking for her._

Amaru.

_Kate spread her arms out on the bed, trying to let the coolness of the sheets sink into her body. It didn’t work, because even the sheets felt like a fire licking at her skin. She took a shaky breath, ignoring the sound of Seth and Richie’s arguing in the other room about a heist. They thought she was staying with them; they thought she was ready._

_Kate knew that she wasn’t._

_“We go in, get the cash, get out and live out the rest of our days in Rio or wherever the fuck the dart lands when we throw it at the map,” Seth said._

_“And what about her, huh? Is she going to leave her life behind now that she has a second chance?” Richie questioned. “She might have helped us pull off that last job, but I can_ sense _that something still isn’t right with her. Not since Xibalba.”_

 _Second chances, sensing something was off with her? Was that what_ this _was? This feeling of uneasiness? This feeling that there was still something inside of her just screaming at her to let it out? Was it Richie’s culebra senses that allowed him to pick up on it?_

_Kate swallowed thickly when she heard the door open. Seth and Richie made their way into the room and she closed her eyes, feeling both of theirs fall on her. She was wearing a pair of cotton shorts and a tanktop because she had been supposed to be asleep. Seth had been very clear when he had told her that she had to rest._

_“Kate?” he asked, approaching the bed. She didn’t have to see him in order to feel him; he had always managed to radiate heat. “Kate, what are you doing?”_

_“Resting,” she said, the word slipping out of her mouth like a sigh. Inside of her, something screamed._

_The bed dipped down slightly as Seth sat down next to her when she winced at the sound that she was certain they hadn’t heard. She turned her head to the side and looked at him, watched as he lifted his hand and hesitated, licking his lips._

_“I’m going to go get myself a drink,” Richie spoke up, pushing his glasses up the slope of his nose. “Give the two of you a chance to…_ Talk.”

_Kate heard the door close again and she looked up at Seth who shook his head before focusing on her again. When he reached out this time, he placed his hand on her forehead and Kate closed her eyes. She remembered how the souls had clawed at Amaru as they had destroyed her and it made her wonder whether that was what they were doing to her now. Were the people she had killed coming back to haunt her? Were they coming back to rip her apart?_

_Tears stung in her eyes, threatening to fall as she took a shaky breath, knowing what she had to do._

_“I’m not coming with you,” she whispered, feeling Seth tense beside her._

_“What?” Seth asked, his tone short but somehow filled with more of…_ Something _, than she had ever heard before. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it_ now.

_“I can’t come with you,” she said again, looking at him through her tears. Seth tore his hand away from her forehead, standing slowly from the bed. Kate pushed herself up, sitting on the edge of it. “Richie is right,” she told him. “This is my second chance… Or at least it could be.”_

_“You want to go?” Seth questioned, his voice terse. “You want to leave and be on your own?”_

_“I want to_ heal _, Seth,” she said. “I can’t do that with-”_

 _“With_ me? _” Seth interrupted, his eyes widening for just the fraction of a second, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just said. “With us…?” he mumbled then, but it was loud enough for her to hear._

_It was strange to see him falter like that. Seth was the kind of man who oozed confidence in every situation he was put it, but now, things were clearly different. It had been, since she had looked for redemption by stepping through the gate to Hell; it had been, since she had returned and they had thought that she would be okay._

_“Seth, please,” she begged. “I’m sorry.” She took a step toward him and placed her hand on the side of his neck, her fingers brushing against the place where she knew the scars from when Richie had bit him were. He started to shake her off but she pressed her hand against his tattoo, trailing over the black lines as she looked up at him._

_He was so close._

So close.

_She could see his resolve breaking. He was going to give her what she wanted because he felt like he owed it to her. Perhaps he did, but she didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t the same as it had been in the cave, or maybe it was. Back then, he had been ready to hurt her to stop her from hurting herself. At least before he had decided to let her do what she wanted. Now, he was doing the same thing: letting her decide for herself and do what was right for her. A part of her wanted to see if he would fight harder though; if he would tell her to shut the fuck up and do her part in all of this, because she was supposed to stay with them._

With him.

_But he didn’t, because he was Seth Gecko and some of the things that Amaru had seen when she had reached for his soul were still embedded deep in Kate’s own brain. He would give her anything, as long as she had a shot at happiness, no matter how slim it might be._

_“You have our number,” he said, his hand slowly coming to rest on her shoulder, his finger clasping her;_ burning _into her. “If you ever need_ anything _, Kate…”_

_“I know who to call,” she nodded, her smile sad. She wouldn’t be calling them, she knew, and she was certain that he did too. Stepping into him, she pressed her forehead against his chest. His hand that had been on her shoulder traveled down her arm, brushing over her bare skin before stopping at her elbow, holding it lightly. She pressed her cheek against him and then lifted up on her toes, pressing her lips against his rough cheek. Seth turned his head when she pulled back slightly and she paused, glancing up at him when he looked down at her. His hot breath fanned over her lips and her eyelids fluttered closed, her hand resting on his chest. She could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest and she wondered whether there was a slight chance that he could feel it too._

_This_ thing.

_Kate took a step back from him once more because whatever it was, she couldn’t get into it now. Not when she was trying to get away; not when she needed to find herself._

_She looked up at Seth again, not able to keep the tears from falling anymore._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_***_

_They dropped her off outside of Bethel and she made them promise to take care of themselves. Richie embraced her tightly, wishing her good luck with finding everything that she was looking for. When she looked at Seth, he avoided her gaze and she understood. It would be easier to just cut all ties and not linger too long. His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against his car and she could_ feel _that he was protecting himself this time around. She couldn’t blame him because she was doing the same._

_“I’ll see you around, Seth,” she whispered under her breath when they finally drove away._

_Kate called for a cab and made it back to her childhood home. It was just like she had left it, messy, like her mind. She took a cold shower, trying to get the heat out of herself. Afterward, she wrapped the towel around her body and walked over to the mirror, wiping away the condensation that had settled on the surface. She looked up at herself, noting that the redness in her hair was slowly fading back to her natural brown color…_

_Her eyes flashed red._

***

Kate jumped with a gasp, her hands slamming down on the dashboard in front of her. She heard Seth swear under his breath.

“Hey, hey,” Seth said, hitting the breaks. He reached out to her on instinct, she assumed, but Kate pressed herself against the door to avoid his touch, flinching away from it.

“What the fuck’s going on?” Richie asked from the backseat. Kate chanced a glance at them both, her breath coming out in hard pants.

Seth looked at her and confusion flittered over his face before he finally looked at Richie and then back at her.

“I had a nightmare,” Kate said, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry.” She winced at her own words, remembering the last time that she had said those words to Seth. By the way that something flashed in his eyes, she was certain that he too remembered.

“It’s, uh,” Seth shook his head. “It’s okay. We’re here anyway.”

“Fucking finally,” Richie said, making his way out of the car. Seth stayed behind a moment longer, staring at her face, his mouth opening for just a second before closing again. She wasn’t sure what he had wanted to say to her, but she was certain that she would find out eventually.

“Seth,” she started, but he shook his head.

“Grab your bag and let’s get going,” he said, turning away from her before opening the door, letting the cool air in for just a second as he slammed it shut.

Kate took a breath and looked out, seeing the flashing sign of a motel.

It was red.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the fact that she was sitting next to him, a part of Seth still couldn’t fully comprehend that Kate Fuller was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Yes, FINALLY you're getting something from Seth's point of view. Essentially, it's chapter 2 from his viewpoint, but you'll get a glimpse into what he's been up to with Richie during the five years they were apart from Kate. Also, I made a small photo-thingy for the fic which I posted in the end of this chapter and I'll probably go back and post it in the end of the other chapters too... Enjoy! :)

# Chapter 3

Despite the fact that she was sitting next to him, a part of Seth still couldn’t fully comprehend that Kate Fuller was there. He had been certain that he and his brother were done for after five years of pulling heists and killing culebras who had gone rogue, making sure the monsters in their world didn’t gain too much power. They had been surrounded and there had been no way out for them without some serious injuries. Seth had known that he would put up the best fight that he could so that at least Richie would be able to get away, but with him being human, he hadn’t planned on making it out of there alive.

Then _she_ had fired a shot, nailing one of the sons of bitches straight through his heart and everything had seemed to slow down for Seth, if only for a moment. He was confused because he didn’t fully understand what had happened himself, but then he had sprung to action. What followed felt as if it had occurred in less than five seconds. They took all the fuckers down and when he stood there, panting and aching, he finally saw her come running. At first he had thought that she might be another culebra coming at them, so he had aimed his gun at her and his brother had done the same. Then he had recognized her and he had frozen because what the hell was he supposed to do?

She looked different, yet the same. Her blue-green eyes were as captivating as they had always been, though there was something in the way that she carried herself, standing a bit taller than he remembered her. Her cheekbones were more pronounced, face and body thinner than he recalled them to be.

He didn’t have time to think too much about it though, or to fully take her in because she asked him where the car was and then they were running again. As he drove them out of Chappell Hill, he chanced a couple of glances her way, trying to ignore the way that his heart was pounding away inside of his chest.

His brother pretended to sleep in the backseat, but Seth wasn’t entirely sure why. He had a million questions to the young woman sitting next to him and he’s sure that Richie did as well. Something stopped him from saying anything to her though. All he knew was that he wanted to wait until he was alone with her so that he could finally say _something._

 _What_ he wanted to say, he wasn’t sure yet.

She fell asleep somewhere along the way. Seth’s eyes kept finding her body which was slumped against the door. She _was_ different. Older, he noticed, and his back ached a bit, almost as a subconscious reminder of the fact that he was too. Then again, noticing the way she was now didn’t make a lick of difference to him because he had _always_ noticed her, ever since he had seen her driving that RV that had belonged to her family.

Back then he had ignored it. That urge to reach out to her and _claim_ her, tell the world that somewhere down the road, she would be his to hold and his alone. He had known back then that it was a ridiculous thought; she was seventeen and he was a convicted asshole who had spent five years in prison. She was pure and he was as corrupted as one could be, with some morals intact. I might have been nothing more than natural instinct for him to want to protect what little light that still existed inside of her.

After the Twister, he had accepted her offer of company. He hadn’t known where he was going or what to do next, because all that he knew was that Richie had left him to be with Santanico, to do whatever the fuck they would do. The right decision would have been to tell her that she should go back home because eventually, he had been sure that he would end up destroying her with his own wickedness.

Instead, he decided to be a selfish bastard and take Kate Fuller with him. A part of him had always wondered whether it was because of that light that he had seen inside of her that first time that he had met her that he had wanted her to accompany him. Perhaps, in his twisted and fucked up mind, he had wanted her to light up the darkness that had always surrounded him.

During their time in Mexico, when they had been alone, she had turned eighteen. He didn’t know when exactly, but during one of their many arguments, she had yelled at him that she was an adult and that he couldn’t keep making decisions for her because she had a right to decide _with_ him. It was then that he had finally understood that she must have spent her birthday alone for the first time in her life in a shitty motel room because he had been too buy drinking himself numb in a bar.

The next day, he had brought back a small cake which he had actually _bought_ and placed it on the small kitchen table, along with a six-pack of beers. As a way to try and lighten the mood, he had also gotten a red ribbon and tied it around the neck of one bottle, wishing her a happy birthday when he handed it to her. Kate had looked at him surprised then and he had mumbled some excuse about them having to celebrate that she had made it to eighteen after all the shit they had been through. That day, cake was all that they had eaten and beer was their only beverage, except for the water that Kate sipped at from a bottle every now and then. From what he could remember, it had been a good night and she had told him some stories about her childhood. She hadn’t pressed him for any information though, but he had found himself sharing how his father had taught him to handle a gun and pick a lock.

And then Kate had looked at him, her cheeks rosy and her lips still wet from the beer that she had just tasted. Her eyes had been wide and curious and something inside of him had told him to backtrack because they were sitting too damn close to one another and despite the fact that she was _legal_ , he was still a bastard.

_‘Will you teach me?’_

Seth returned his focus to the road ahead of them, remembering how not even a week after he had agreed to teach her the ropes of thieving and conning, he had started shooting up. The need to numb himself had been too big. His nightmares had taken him over completely and the drugs had made sure to knock him out fast enough that he didn’t have time to think about his brother or how everything in his life was so completely and utterly fucked. After that, things were always a blur for him. Kate was the only one who remained clear to him through it all, even when the world was foggy and he could only hear his own ragged breath in his ears. Her face was always as clear as crystal.

It didn’t change later, not even when they separated. She was always there in the back of his mind, no matter how much he would later try to deny it to himself. When Richie had told him that she had been shot dead by Carlos, something inside of him had broken. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know, but his brother had always been perceptive. Richie had tried to talk to him about it, though Seth had been quick to shut him down. He didn’t want to be reminded of yet another one of his failures. When he had left Kate on the side of the road, he had done what he thought was necessary to keep her safe. Seth had never been naive, but a part of him had thought that maybe she would have tried to go back to her own life.

Instead, she had ended up dead.

Half a year later, she had returned, but not as herself. They had fought to get her back and in the end, they had won, but Seth understood that things weren’t the same. Richie tried telling him, but Seth wouldn’t hear it. He just wanted her to be okay and to be with them, _safe._

And then she decided to split and after everything that he had put her through, he couldn’t be a bastard anymore, so he let her go.

He had tried so damn hard not to think about her. Most nights, the thought of her just managed to creep its way into his mind and it wasn’t something that he could help. It was like some cruel torment, making himself think about and relive everything that had occurred between them since she had returned with Amaru inside of her; making him see how he had tortured her body, broken her down and nearly killed her, justifying everything as a means to an end, all so that he could save her.

And then he thought about how she had made him pray.

Not out loud, but in his mind. He had looked at her unconscious body, at the cross on the wall and he had _prayed_ to whatever deity that might exist that their blood type was the same and that his blood would save her. Because he had needed her to live, because she had been the one good and pure thing in his life and he had nearly destroyed her, like he had always known that he would.

She had coughed and woken up and his breath had hitched, chest aching because _it had worked_.

A few weeks later, she had decided to leave.

Glancing toward her sleeping form now, Seth sighed, focusing on the road again. He didn’t want to think about how he had spent the past five years with Richie, falling back into some of his old ways. Not the drugs, but the robbing and the thieving, the booze and the women. Each and every time his brother had made remarks about how all the girls he brought back to the hotel rooms were all petite and dark haired, he pretended to be oblivious as to what he was saying. It wasn’t until Richie had flat out said, ‘ _They all look like Kate,_ ’ that he had snapped, grabbed a hold of him by the collar and pushed him against the wall.

‘ _Don’t._ ’

Richie had backed off after that and Seth hadn’t told him how none of the girls actually looked like the young woman who had completely fucked up his life. It was always the wrong shade of brown in their hair, or a too wide chin or a too long face. The worst thing was when their eyes leaned more toward either blue or green. He had never found anyone with eyes quite like Kate’s.

He knew that it was messed up and wrong. He was very well aware of the fact that it wasn’t healthy. After he had gotten shot during a heist three years back, Richie had told him that it was time for them to focus on something else for a while. Maybe do some easier work.

Seth had been keeping in contact with Freddie, mostly through text messages. He changed his burner phone once every two weeks, only memorizing Freddie’s number and Kate’s. Instead of calling Kate though, he messaged the ranger, asking whether he had been in touch with her. Freddie knew it was him, despite him changing his number so often, but still replied, always telling him that Kate was doing good, that she was going to school again, graduating and making something out of herself.

That she was living the life that Seth had told her that she should be living.

So he asked Freddie whether there was anything going on south of the border, if he needed help controlling the mess that had been left behind when the culebra lords had been killed. Freddie would never outright tell him that he did need help to contain the situation, but Seth got the gist of the ranger’s grumbling.

They were back to keeping the culebras in line less than a week later.

Seth spotted the sign of a motel in the distance, finally allowing himself a moment to lean back into his seat and relax. As they approached the building, Seth decided that it didn’t look half-bad. There were pictures under the flashing red sign showing parts of the interior and it seemed as if the place had an indoor pool.

Kate’s loud gasp made him jump and he swore under his breath as he hit the break hard. As soon as he had pulled the car to a stop, he reached out to her, not even thinking.

“Hey, hey…” he murmured gently but tensed the moment he saw Kate flinch away from him. She was breathing harshly and in the backseat Richie asked what was happening, sounding more annoyed with Seth making such a sharp stop without warning than anything else.

Seth glanced at his brother for a moment, wanting to snap at him to shut up, but he looked back at Kate instead.

“I had a nightmare,” she said, her voice sounding thicker than usual. “I’m sorry.”

Seth noted the look on her face when she spoke and his heart pounded when he remembered the last time he had heard her apologizing to him. He wanted to tell her that she had nothing to be sorry for, that things would be okay now that they were together again, but he wasn’t so sure that he should get his hopes up.

“It’s, uh,” Seth said, shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of the thoughts. “It’s okay. We’re here anyway.”

“Fucking finally,” Richie said, getting out of the car. Seth couldn’t bring himself to move just yet though. He stared at her face and felt his mouth open on its own. Once again, he found himself wanting to tell her that she would be fine, but he stopped.

Because goddamn it, if he didn’t realize then just how angry he was and how much he hated her for leaving.

“Seth,” Kate began.

Seth shook his head, cutting her off effectively.

“Grab your bag and let’s get going,” he told her, turning away from her before opening the door. He stepped outside and slammed it shut, taking in a shaky breath. Seth walked toward the reception, trying to catch up with Richie so that they could get themselves one of the nicer rooms with an extra bed. Anger and hurt still welled inside of him, raging a storm against the other emotions that he didn’t want to name just yet.

Because yes, Seth hated Kate for leaving, even though he deep down knew that he didn’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter! Thank you so much for reading and supporting the fic. If you feel like leaving a thought or two on the comments, please do so. I need some fuel to get the fourth chapter finished as soon as possible! ;) You won't want to miss it. It involves Seth's POV again... And a shower.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Much love! xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things that Seth thinks about. Things that he knows he absolutely shouldn't think about. Imagination, however, is a difficult thing to stop sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I promised Seth taking a shower and well, things got... A little heated, you could say. As you might have noticed, this story is a part of a series now. I have the upcoming stories all planned out, but I'm going to need some time to write them because school is killing me at the moment. Either way, there are always ways to keep me motivated *wink wink*! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support I've gotten so far. If you feel like it, please check out this other SethKate AU fic that I wrote (For You I'd Slay Dragons and Climb Towers). Part 1 has been posted on that one and I'm aiming to have Part 2 out this weekend. It's a two-shot.
> 
> Now, please enjoy this chapter! :)

# Chapter 4

The water was lukewarm, despite the fact that Seth had gotten to shower first. The small apartment that they had rented had two bedrooms, one of which the brothers had decided to give to Kate so that she could have some privacy. It wouldn’t be the first time that Seth shared a bed with Richie, after all. He wasn’t actually expecting to get much sleep tonight though, with the way that he currently felt. The uncomfortable looking couch in the living room would have to do for him in case Richie started snoring and he needed a place to think contemplate the way things were turning out.

Seth pressed his hand against the tiled wall and closed his eyes for a moment. His mind wandered, as it did often when he on his own. Breathing in slowly through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, he tried his hardest not to let his thoughts go to where they usually went.

Pink lips, blue-green eyes, bright and filled with innocence and yet not. Seth swallowed hard, looking down as his hand on the wall balled up into a fist. His fingernails dug into his palm and the sting was a reminder that he was actually _there_ and that the situation was real this time around.

He had imagined it so many times that it had passed the line of ridiculous long ago. The beginning varied every time, but ultimately, the end was the same. Sometimes it was as cliché as him walking into a bar and seeing her out on the small dancefloor. Other times, she had taken up a job somewhere in a Big Kahuna Burger shack and he had been sent out by Richie to get them both a horchata. He would see her, happy and smiling, just like he remembered her. She had given him that genuine smile of hers a few times when they had been on their own. Like when he had called her his partner or when he gotten her a small trinket, just to show her that he didn’t actually mind having her around. He had missed that smile.

In his dreams though, she always looked so sure of herself, determination in her eyes as she scanned the crowd and then zeroed in on him, spotting him easily because he always stared back at her so blatantly.

Seth bit his lip and reached down, grasping himself.

It was so wrong.

So. Fucking. _Wrong_.

But his fantasy kept going and he couldn’t help it. Pleasure coursed through him as he gripped his hardening cock, stroking it once, then twice, slowly, torturously. Biting back a moan, he tried to keep himself from thinking about the brunette in the other room. It was impossible, of course, because even though his imagination didn’t always begin with her, it constantly ended with her, no matter the scenario.

Seth had tried several times to just think of some unknown girl, but no matter if she was a blonde or redhead, her hair quickly shifted into brown, just like dark eyes changed into bright ones. He should be ashamed of himself, and a part of him was, but it didn’t change the fact that he continued to imagine Kate’s soft body pressed against his own.

There had been actual dreams too over the years, not only scenes that his mind had created for him whenever he was alone. The dreams were different because those he knew that he shouldn’t feel guilty for. He couldn’t control them, after all. A part of his brain still continued to scream at him though, whenever he tried to justify it. It kept repeating that if he didn’t imagine fucking Kate in the dark corners of a random bar somewhere in the middle of nowhere, or in the employees’ dressing room at Big Kahuna Burger, he might not dream about having her spread out on his bed.

A groan fell from his lips, he tightened his grip on his dick and stroked harder, faster.

“Shit…” he mumbled, thumb brushing over the head of his cock, smearing the pre-cum that had gathered at the tip. The water was running cold now and he was certain that Richie was going to hate him for taking so long and Kate would probably-

His mind went blank as he once again remembered that the girl he was imagining fucking as he jerked off was in the other room. Letting go of his length, he nearly cried out in protest at himself, but he couldn’t keep going.

Berating himself, he let the now cold water cool him down. There was no way in hell that he was going to jerk off to Kate when she was in the next room. It was like he had told her in the tunnels of Matanzas: He had done a lot of shit in his life, but with her… He couldn’t.

At least not when she was so close to him again.

Back when they had been alone in Mexico, his mind had wandered once or twice but he had tried his damndest to keep himself under control, no matter if Kate had turned eighteen at some point during the months after the Twister. He had been responsible for her then, even though she had ended up being the one to take care of him instead.

Shaking his head, he finished washing up. He was still semi-hard but he’d have to deal with it and hope that his brother and Kate didn’t notice. He dried up the best he could and proceeded to pull on his clothes, opting for a black t-shirt since it was late and they would probably be going to bed soon anyway.

Unless Kate wanted to talk. They probably should, but Seth wasn’t sure he was ready to yet. He wouldn’t even know what to say. The feelings that he had been keeping bottled up for five whole years were threatening to boil over and he was still pissed. The only thing he was certain of was that he didn’t want her to leave again, no matter how angry he was.

Walking out of the bathroom, he ran the towel over his head, drying his hair the best he could. He paused when he saw Kate and Richie sitting next to one another around the small kitchen table. Kate was sharpening a knife while Richie talked in hushed whispers that Seth couldn’t make out. Her hair was still messily braided, strands sticking out in various directions. She seemed to be listening to whatever it was that Richie was saying to her, but as soon as Seth stepped into the room, her eyes rose from where they had been focused on the knife in her hand and met his. Tensing briefly, he forced himself to not think about the things he had been imagining in the shower moments ago.

“Water’s run cold,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Great,” Richie responded sarcastically, rolling his eyes at him.

“There wasn’t any hot water to begin with,” Seth defended, throwing the towel over the wooden chair. Kate was still looking at him, but she didn’t speak. Seth’s own eyes shifted from her to Richie and then back. He wasn’t sure if he was actually challenging her to say something or not. Maybe he was trying to pick a fight, all so that he could get some kind of reaction out of her. Ever since he had been curt with her in the car when she had woken up from her nightmare, he had a gnawing feeling that she was going to try and avoid speaking to him. She was looking at him though, dead in the eyes, and he wondered if maybe he was wrong. Perhaps she was just waiting for him to speak first.

“There’s a pool, right?” Kate said suddenly. He looked at her and she glanced down at her knife again, putting it on the table. “I saw the sign for a pool when we walked to our room. It’s indoors, so I think I’m going to go for a swim.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Richie asked, but Kate stood up without even looking at him.

“There’s no warm water anyway,” she shrugged. “I have my bikini packed.”

“Right,” Seth said. “It’s probably right next to your silver bullets in that bag of yours.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them and he winced. Richie glared at him but Kate only stared blankly again.

Well, fuck.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Kate said, ignoring the quip he had made. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a towel before rummaging through her duffel bag, pulling out a red bikini. Seth noted the strings and he thought about how good it must look on her body.

“Kate-” he started, but she was already at the door.

“I’ll be back in an hour or two,” she interrupted him. “See you guys later.”

She shut the door after herself and Seth frowned before turning to look at Richie. His brother seemed deep in thought and Seth couldn’t help but question whether Richie had managed to get something out of her.

“She seems okay,” Richie finally told him.

Seth was grateful for the fact that he didn’t need to ask any questions, but Richie’s statement confused him. Had he not seen what had happened in the car when Kate had woken up, gasping for air? That had _not_ been okay.

“You think so?” Seth still asked, mostly for confirmation.

“Only time will tell,” Richie shrugged. “There’s something off with her though.”

“You just said she was fine,” Seth pointed out, sounding annoyed.

“She is,” Richie frowned. “She’s okay, but there’s something else… Something inside of her. Like a coldness that has settled and festered there.”

Yeah, Seth could have noticed that without heightened culebra senses. He _had_ noticed that, in fact.

“You’ve been reading too many of the professor’s books,” Seth tried to joke, but he didn’t sound very convincing, not even to himself. Whatever happened to the professor anyway?

He brushed the thought away, focusing on Kate again and the clear emotional detachment she was going through. “Whatever it is that’s going on with her, we’ll figure it out,” he said. “She’s with us again.”

“Do you think she’ll stay?” Richie asked. Seth started to reply but stopped himself. Would Kate stay?

“I’ll talk to her,” Seth said instead, deciding that it was time for him to take the reigns.

“Don’t scare her off, brother,” Richie said. “She didn’t say much when I talked to her, but I can tell that this reunion of ours took her by surprise as well. I highly doubt that she knows what she’s going to do either.”

“Since you apparently had your chance to chat with her, I’m going to go and keep an eye on her now,” Seth said. “You should take a shower. The cold should tire you out,” he added smugly. Richie glared at him, eyes flashing for just a moment, before he grinned.

“I’d rather you clean the shower after yourself first. Who knows what you’ve been up to now that your memories have been refreshed,” Richie said.

Seth only glared back and smacked him up the head before walking to the door. Of course the fucker could see right through him, but he wasn’t going to confess to anything.

His sins were his own to bear.

***

Seth followed the signs to the pool area. He wasn’t even sure it was supposed to be open at night, but clearly, if Kate had gotten in, it was. It made no sense to him why a small motel with hardly any warm water would have an indoor pool, although who was he to question strange things? He had seen too much crazy shit these past couple of years that a pool inside a motel in the middle of nowhere wasn’t really something he should be questioning.

He walked through the door, his eyes instantly traveling to the lit up pool at the sound of a body cutting through water. Focusing on Kate’s lithe body as she swam, Seth stopped for a second, not being able to keep himself from staring at her. Her strokes were fast yet long as she swam under water. He wondered briefly how it was possible for her to keep her breath for so long.

Seth could see the physical change in her more clearly now. Where there had been softness in her form before, lean muscles now defined her body. Her arms were stronger, probably from carrying around all those weapons and hair was definitely longer than he had ever seen it. It fanned out behind her in the water, floated whenever she slowed and swam to the surface to take a breath. He couldn’t help but think about how she looked as if she belonged there, somehow, in some strange way.

He walked over to one of the lounge chairs and sat down on the edge of it, not wanting to disturb her as she continued to swim. It was clear that she hadn’t noticed him yet and he was glad for that because it would give him more time to prepare for whatever it was he was going to say to her. Hurt still swirled around inside of him when he thought of the past five years. So much had happened, so much had changed. Maybe not with him, but he could tell that Kate was different and he hadn’t even properly talked to her yet.

A splash sounded from the pool and he looked up just as Kate made her way up on the steps. He couldn’t keep his eyes from roaming over her body, taking in the bikini she wore that barely covered anything at all. Yeah, Kate Fuller had certainly grown up.

She turned her head and looked at him from over her shoulder. He stood from his seat, his gut twisting again. Memories of his shower were still fresh in his mind and the way that Kate was looking at him in return didn’t help to keep his thoughts pure. He wasn’t just imagining it, was he?

Kate walked over to a small table, water dripping slowly down her body. His eyes followed her as she reached over and picked up the towel that she had brought with her from the table. She dried off with it before wrapping it around herself, taking her discarded clothing in her hands. There was something purposeful in her eyes when she approached him then and Seth waited patiently until she came to stand before him.

She was so close that she was almost brushing up against him. He stared down at her, not allowing himself to look away from her face. Kate opened her mouth then closed it once more. Her eyebrows furrowed and he continued to look at her, taking another small step toward her. Her hand came up between them quickly, not brushing against his chest, but it was still close enough to make him stop.

“I’m leaving,” she told him.

His heart continued to beat loudly inside of him. Seth searched her eyes for a moment, wondering whether she could feel the rapid thumping without actually touching him.

 _Fear_.

That was what he saw written on her face, besides her determination. She glanced away, just as he recognized it for what it was and then started to step around him. He reached out without thinking, his fingers brushing against her elbow. The move caused her to stop as effectively as his hand around her wrist would have. Kate looked back up at him and blinked again, her eyes wide and surprised.

“You’re not,” he said, his voice low, but sure. Kate’s lips parted and he found himself glancing down, taking in the pink of them, his mind once more wandering to how soft they would be if he just pressed his against hers. He lifted his eyes to focus on her again, heart stuttering in his chest when he realized that Kate’s own gaze had flickered down to his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Lots of love! xx
> 
> P.S. Don't forget that if you have any questions or just wanna message me, I'm available on Tumblr (author123456) and Twitter (Sugar_Pepper666).


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are things they need to talk about. They are both painfully aware of that. Both are feeling confrontational and finally, some hard truths are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This is the final chapter of this first part. It's been a blast so far and I'm going to try to get the second story completely finished before posting anything on it. If you'd like to see more of this universe, feel free to follow the "Five" series that it's a part of in order to get updates! Also, keep up with me and my craziness on Tumblr (author123456) and Twitter (Sugar_Pepper666). Enjoy! :)

 

#  Chapter 5

Over the past five years, Kate had been in enough situations that had rendered her speechless. Most of them related to the state of her mind. Sometimes, the occasions triggered old memories in her brain. Like the first time she took down a rogue culebra on her own. Those moments made her pause, but since she started hunting, she knew the importance of moving.

If one stopped, one became an easier target. If one stopped, one died. Kate had tried to teach herself to stop freezing and overthinking things. She had trained her body to always move, always anticipate her opponent’s next attack and always be prepared for the worst.

And yet, Seth’s words had not only made her stop, but everything around her, it seemed.

“You’re not,” he had said and she had hardly been able to breathe. The tone he said the words in; hurt and borderline desperate, at least to her ears. The way that he looked at her almost made her shudder and all of the sudden, she felt exposed due to her lack of clothing. She was still clad in her red bikini, towel wrapped around her, hair dripping. Her own eyes had focused on his lips, if only for a second before she looked up and met his eyes.

His look took her back, to the time that they were alone in Mexico, after the Twister. Back then, she would sometimes catch him watching her in the same way that he looked at her now. After the Twister, she had thought that she might have been able to read his mind through the emotions that his eyes conveyed, but he had been a wild card and she had had a difficult time keeping up with him.

At least in the beginning.

Later, she had learned  _ him _ . She had understood how he worked, what he needed and what she had to say in order to get to him. She gave as good as she got and she stopped following him around and instead became a part of that messed up two-man team that they had been. 

Every time that he would look at her the way that he was now though, she had wanted to force him to do something, react somehow. It appeared that it was one of those things that would never change, no matter how many years they spent apart. Kate kept her eyes firmly on Seth’s, challenging him without saying a word. She wished that he would speak, even though she found herself being perfectly content with just staring at him.

***

“I don’t want to talk about this here,” Kate said, forcing him out of his thoughts. Seth had been focused on her close proximity, the warmth that she radiated despite being in the pool that he had to assume had been cold. His mind had once more traveled into dangerous territory, where he imagined what it would feel like to pull her close and drag his lips down the column of her throat, graze her skin with his teeth.

Seth swallowed and met her suddenly hard gaze, “Do you even know that this is about, Kate?”

His question hung in the air for a while, but he didn’t shy away from the look she gave him. He could tell that she was thinking too, about what this inevitable conversation was going to be about.

“I’m guessing that it’s something we don’t want the cleaning lady to know about,” Kate said, smacking her lips together as she looked past him, sarcasm evident in her tone.

Seth looked over his shoulder and noticed an older woman standing there with a cart, looking at them curiously. He could only imagine what she was seeing; a young, beautiful woman like Kate standing in barely any clothing close to a man like Seth. The older woman looked just about ready to call for help, in case Seth decided to assault either of them. He pressed his lips together, staring down hard at Kate before motioning for her to come with him. Richie might have gone to bed by now and they couldn’t stay in the pool area all night anyway. As he passed the older lady, he offered her what he hoped was a charming smile, but she kept looking at him suspiciously, even though Kate willingly kept walking by his side.

What kind of a motel had a night time cleaning staff anyway?

“I think she was just supposed to clean out the pool area,” Kate mumbled in reply and Seth frowned to himself again, wondering whether he had actually spoken out loud or not. He was so deep in his own thoughts that he wasn’t sure what came out from between his lips anymore.

They walked side by side back to the room. When they entered, Seth was glad to find that the door to his and Richie’s room was closed. His brother probably suspected that something would be going down tonight. Richie was smart like that;  _ perceptive. _

“You wanted to talk,” Kate said, sending him a pointed look as she crossed her arms over her chest. “ _ So talk _ .”

“Aren’t you going to get changed first?” Seth wondered.

“What’s the point?” Kate countered.

Seth’s eyes narrowed, briefly sweeping over her frame before locking his gaze with hers again. “When I agreed to let you go, I did so to keep you safe,” he told her, deciding to just start somewhere and then see where things go. “Clearly, I didn’t do such a good job of keeping you safe if you’ve been out there playing Mina fucking Harker for five years.” The words left his mouth like an accusation and he instantly saw the change in Kate’s eyes. They darkened slightly and she pressed her lips together.

“I didn’t start hunting properly until after college, Seth,” she said. “I trained and I taught myself, but I’ve been actively hunting for these past two years.”

A bitter laugh escaped Seth’s throat and it seemed as if it startled Kate as much as it had surprised him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better, Kate?” he asked her, his voice dangerously low.

Kate pulled the towel that she had wrapped around herself up a bit, securing the knot better before looking at him again as her arms dropped to her sides.

“You’re not supposed to care at all.”

***

Kate had been in a lot of scary scenarios in her life. She was twenty-three years old, going on twenty-four, and she had spent these past five years trying to find herself in a world that had changed so suddenly, so drastically for her. She had spent months trapped inside her own mind while her body had been controlled by the Queen of Hell and before that, she had been killed, shot dead in front of her own brother. If she went back further, her memories were filled with monsters that she never would have imagined existed and the two criminals who had pulled her into that world, that she would never be able to pretend didn’t exist.

She had seen so many things, lived through so much  _ shit  _ that she wasn’t sure why  _ this  _ particular moment was any worse. She didn’t understand why watching Seth Gecko  _ snap _ this time was any different than the other times that she had seen him break down in front of her.

As soon as she had spoken the words, she had seen anger and pain roll through his body. He had physically taken a step back from her and recoiled from her touch when she had reached for him. She had moved on instinct and her hand remained outstretched. A part of her wanted to apologize because she knew that what she had said was uncalled for. On the other hand, she was just as confused as he was. She had never expected to see the brothers again, and yet, it seemed like fate had other plans for them all.

“Five years, Kate,” Seth rasped out, shaking his head at her. “Five fucking years and more of me caring when deep down I knew I shouldn’t, and you’re fucking telling me that I wasn’t  _ supposed  _ to?” His voice gained volume when he turned back to her, the accusation falling from his lips. “Are you fucking crazy?”

“Maybe I am,” Kate breathed out harshly, taking another step toward him, but he backed away, shaking his head.

“Do you even know what it was like?” Seth asked. “Do you know what it was like for me to hear that you were killed and then to find out that you weren’t dead? Do you fucking know how it was to do everything in my power to get you back and then have you walk away like none of it even mattered?”

Kate stared at him and her hands trembled. Inside of her, she could see all the flashing images that Amaru had seen when she had touched Seth’s soul. Kate could  _ feel  _ his pain and anguish; she could see how difficult it had been for him to hide it and be strong.

“I walked away because I needed to, not because of  _ you _ ,” Kate tried again, but Seth seemed to be on a roll. It was clear that he had been holding all of these emotions in for too long.

“You could have called,” he accused. “You could have texted!”

“So could you,” Kate countered. “Don’t put all of this on me, Seth! I was protecting you and I didn’t want you or Richie to see what I had become!”

Their breathing was heavy. Somehow, they had ended up standing close to one another again. A cough sounded in the other room and Kate knew that Richie must have overheard most of what they had said. Him coughing was clearly his way of telling them that he was still close and that they had to stop yelling before someone else came and knocked on their door.

Kate tried to calm herself down, to keep her cool, but it was impossible. Her head hurt and her chest ached and she was just  _ exhausted. _ She had been trying to stay calm for so long, tried to make sense of everything, but she hadn’t gotten anywhere. It was clear from everything that Seth had said that she hadn’t been the only one struggling.

During their months alone, Kate had gotten to know Seth well enough. She knew that he didn’t normally speak about what he felt and instead allowed his closed up emotions slowly push him to act out. The knowledge made her wonder how he had acted out after she had left. She looked at him now and the pain was visible on his face.

“Protecting us?” he asked and Kate closed her eyes, feeling tears sting and her chin trembled. She could feel everything falling apart.

***

Seth thought about it. These past five years and how he had always kept Kate’s number in mind, but never managed to press the numbers and give her a call. Whenever he wanted to know how things were with her, he had called up the ranger. After a while, Freddie hadn’t even bothered to pretend that he didn’t know why Seth insisted on calling. He just gave Seth an update on Kate’s whereabouts and Seth knew that there was only so much the man could do. Seth had thought that Kate was doing good, but clearly, he couldn’t be so sure about that anymore.

If she had gotten him to snap earlier with her words, it seemed as if his own question had broken down Kate’s walls. He thought about how Richie had described her; how his brother had told him that there was something cold inside of her, something that had settled there and only grown stronger over the years that they had been apart.

“I’m so messed up, Seth,” Kate spoke, her voice low, broken. She lowered her eyes and he looked down as well, at her hands, that were shaking. “I haven’t been myself for over five years. It feels as if nothing inside of me belongs to me. Like I’m a stranger in my own body.”

He wasn’t sure if he should interrupt her. It was clear that she needed to say whatever it was that was on her mind. He had needed her to push him to get all his thoughts out, but maybe she needed his silence.

“Remember when I told you and Scott that I remembered everything she did? Back in Matanzas?” Kate asked. “I can still see it. I can still feel the souls of the ones she killed inside of me, as if it was yesterday. It’s almost as if she still has a hold of me. That’s why I left, because I thought if I got away, I wouldn’t do something to you,” Kate said, sounding tired. “When I got back to Bethel, I thought things would get better, but they didn’t. I didn’t tell Freddie, because I didn’t want to worry him. Instead, I tried to push myself to exhaustion until I fell asleep, but the voices kept following me, even in my nightmares.”

“Kate,” Seth began, but she looked up again and there was so much pain in her eyes. She had changed so much, but her eyes were the same as they had always been.

“I can still see your soul,” she whispered her confession. “I can  _ feel it _ , Seth. Inside of me, like a part of you is there and I’m suffering with you.”

Seth stepped toward her again. This time, he reached out for her. His fingers wrapped around hers and she wasn’t warm at all now. She had cooled down significantly since they had left the pool area, but that wasn’t what he had to focus on now.

“Stay,” he told her. “You don’t have to deal with any of it alone anymore.”

Kate shook her head and pulled her hand back from him. She started to walk to her room, but Seth couldn’t just let her leave this time. He was done with letting her go. With hurried steps, he followed her and managed to step into the room just before she closed the door on him.

“No more running, Kate,” he told her when she opened her mouth to protest. He grabbed her hand again and pulled her back, but he turned them so that her back was against the door and he stepped into her space.

His body pressed fully into hers and his clothes dampened due to the wet towel that was wrapped around her. Kate stared up at him, but she didn’t seem intimidated by him. Since their time together in Mexico, he hardly thought she would ever be again. The way that she watched him now, through hooded eyes… It made him want to step into her completely and close the distance once and for all. He wondered how her lips would taste, but he couldn’t bring himself to just go ahead and kiss her.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” he said instead. “I don’t want to be alone anymore either.” His final words were whispered a breath from her ear as he leaned down, his nose brushing against the shell of her ear. He didn’t want anyone else to know. His confession was for her only and he wouldn’t risk Richie overhearing if the walls were thin and the sound carried.

Kate’s hand moved up and rested on his shoulder as she pressed her forehead into his chest. Her other hand moved to his side and he could practically feel her resolve breaking.

“Okay,” she said, nodding against him. “I’ll try. I’ll stay.”

She stepped into him then and Seth’s arms wrapped around her, fingers burying into her wet hair, tangling there, but neither of them seemed to care.

***

Seth waited for her in her room as she cleaned up. He changed into another shirt, but Kate had given him strict instructions to not leave the room. When she returned from her shower, she no longer smelled like chlorine when she walked into his embrace. Her fingers clutched the material of his shirt and he could have sworn that she took a deep breath, inhaling his scent.

She sagged against him slightly and Seth bent slightly before he picked her up. Kate’s arms remained wrapped around his neck and her legs surrounded his waist. He walked with her to the bed and gently lowered her down, crawling in after her. Seth leaned over her and brushed his fingers over her cheeks, taking in the redness that spread slowly over her skin. Kate looked up at him and offered him a tired smile and he leaned down, closer, so that he could press his lips against her forehead before laying down next to her. Their legs tangled and he threw his arm around her middle. Kate’s hands fell over his and she intertwined their fingers, letting out a low breath of content. Seth moved closer so that Kate’s back was pressed flush against his front and he buried his nose in her hair before closing his eyes.

Counting Seth’s breaths against the back of her neck, feeling his arms wrapped around her and just knowing that he was there with her and that he hadn’t wanted to let her go again… Kate hadn’t felt more peaceful in years. The voices were silent and the only thing she could hear was Seth’s breathing, which slowly lulled her to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, unfortunately no real kiss in this part. I'm sorry for that, but halfway through writing this, I figured out the concept for the whole serie, so you guys are going to have to be patient. It's slow burn, like most of my stories are, but it's gonna be worth it! Be prepared for a painful ride and thank you so much for supporting me and the story so far. Lots of love! Until next time... Xx

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are golden! :) xx
> 
> P.S. I try to proof-read everything I post, but sometimes, mistakes sneak in. I'm sorry for that. All mistakes are mine. :P


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